He Bought His Wedding Shoes from Me – Only To Marry Someone Else

What happens when love unravels and heartbreak becomes a turning point? This raw and unfiltered interview explores the twists of romance, betrayal, and self-discovery. Through the joy of connection and the sting of loss, one woman’s experience – marked by a shocking act of disloyalty – unfolds into a powerful story on healing, resilience, and moving forward. *Kiki (29) tells her tale of first love, second chances, and a wild ride through heartbreak. 

Tell me about your first experience of ‘falling in love’ with someone.

Ah, May 2019. I’d been in relationships before, but those felt like child’s play. But that particular thing I had with *Efe was different. I was fresh out of Uni and doing my mandatory year of national service and I met this guy who truly saw me. Unlike my past school relationships, where I did all the heavy lifting, this time, someone showed up for me. It felt good that I was in a relationship where I wasn’t the only one putting in the work.

ICYMI #LoveBox Issue 1: I Wanted Him But The Streets Didn’t Want to Let Him Go

We met through a friend. My bestie posted my picture on her status. He saw it, liked what he saw, and asked her to plug him. Well, we met and the vibe was instant. You know that thing they say about vibe check. We just clicked. It felt like I’d known him forever. I had that feeling of this was my person because I could be my complete self with him – unfiltered, goofy, and vulnerable – while at complete ease and peace. I could tell them anything. We prayed together, we grew together, and we genuinely had each other’s backs. But life had other plans.

What happened?

Life bruh. lol. Life happened. He was struggling financially and emotionally. He felt like he wasn’t enough for me. Efe said he didn’t want me to suffer alongside him; he wanted to be someone better. And a few months down the line, he ghosted. Just like that.

Did his financial struggles ever bother you?

Never. I never complained. I kept telling him we’d figure things out together and that he should look on the bright side of things. But he was going through it. I felt like I was very understanding but again, I could only empathise with him. You can only do so much when even you are only trying to get your head above water. At some point, he shut everyone out, including me.

How did that affect you?

It broke me. I developed anxiety issues. A very terrible one. It took me, like, two years to get over the whole experience. My close friends tried encouraging me to try getting into a new relationship. But I had personally shut down the emotion I was experiencing. I was telling someone some days ago that the guy was my first love. This was someone I saw as my person.

Were you able to speak to him after all of this, maybe to find closure or something?

Yes, he called sometime later but I didn’t pick up because I wasn’t ready to talk. I didn’t want closure then. Even his elder sister told me to move on, that I’m a good person. We finally spoke in 2020, and that was that. He’s married now. Relocated abroad. We haven’t heard from each other since then. 

Did you ever wonder why he didn’t come back for you when he got his life together?

Honestly, I wasn’t even waiting for him anymore. I already moved on with my life because I feel like if I was waiting, I would be wasting my own time, and I’d be waiting for something I probably won’t get. So, when he liked my Instagram story two months ago, I was like, “Sir, why? What are you looking for?”

Do you feel betrayed?

Of course, I did. I felt I put in my all in the relationship for it to just end like that. He said he was struggling, but then he got married barely a year after we broke up. He was not only able to handle a relationship or courtship, bruh, he got married – a whole marriage, lol. 

The same Efe who said he wasn’t into PDA was posting wedding pictures on his Instagram feed. When we were dating, he usually claimed not to be the PDA kind of person. But when he got married, he didn’t just post on the ephemeral WhatsApp status or Instagram story but on his Instagram feed. I felt really hurt, tbh.

ICYMI #LoveBox Issue 2: One Minute, It Was Love. The Next, He Was Hurling Insults at Me.

I’m sorry you had to go through that. How has it been since then?

A mess, mostly. I took a two-year break after that episode and just stayed single. I couldn’t really bear opening up to anyone. Although along the line, I met *Sammy who was just somewhere in-between sha. 

Sammy was actually way younger than me, about three years younger. Sweet guy, but he had just finished Uni, and we were at different stages of life. We’re still cool, though. No bad vibes. I think I appreciated that we were open with each other and what we wanted and we knew it couldn’t work out at that point.

It didn’t work out because you were not willing to just open up yet?

Yeah, I think so. In 2022, I met *Femi who I finally opened up to. We’d had each other’s contact for a while, maybe about a year, but never really chatted. We got talking around September. Then in July 2023, we celebrated his birthday. I even attended dinner with his siblings and friends. Only for me to begin to notice a drastic change in August. 

“What’s going on, what’s happening?” I wondered. Like, he just suddenly became cold. I’d met his parents earlier in January 2023, and he had met mine one month before. We were hoping that with the visits, we would get married before the end of 2023 and probably relocate together because I was processing my relocation at the time. But there we were in August, everything just changed. 

He grew distant and started posting a particular lady on his WhatsApp status. 

And you called him out?

Of course! But every time I brought her up, it became a very big fight. He’d say nothing was going on. 

Strange.

I was like, bruh, I am your girlfriend, and you are posting somebody else consistently. You have all my siblings on your contact list. You have my mother on your contact list. What do you want them to think? How do you want them to see me? 

It always ended badly. Sometimes, we would go two or three days without speaking with each other. His defence was that my family was to blame for delaying our marriage because they wanted us to pray and get divine confirmation. 

When a prophecy came back warning of a troubled marriage, I still stuck with him. Love makes you stubborn, I guess. My family had informed one of the evangelists in our church to pray about the proposed marriage. However, word came back that if we got married, there would be kids between us but it was not going to be a very peaceful marriage. 

You would expect that to stop me from moving ahead in the relationship but as a girl in love, I was like “things like that happen in every marriage”. My siblings also supported me in arguing that no marriage is perfect. I didn’t want to rush things too especially with everything happening with our relationship then. 

ICYMI #LoveBox Issue 3: One Tweet, One DM and a Love Story That Is Defying Distance.

Then what happened?

He continued being neither here nor there until November when I asked Femi, again, where we stood. “Bro, what is happening between us since we have met both families?” He gave me a lot of sweet talk with no coherence. 

In December, Femi pretended like everything was okay and wanted to work things out, but kept posting that same lady. I accused him of cheating but he denied it with a straight face. 

Well, I confirmed things for myself one day in January 2024 when I saw things I wish I didn’t see. I had gone to his office after I closed from work and stumbled on his chats with that lady. I challenged him on the spot, but he gaslit me and said I was overthinking. But he’d been with her since August. 

What?! While still with you?

Exactly. He told his family we had broken up. Meanwhile, I was still visiting their house. And guess what? He proposed to her that same January! Yes, he did. He even had the audacity to send me solo pictures from his proposal day, pretending he just went out for dinner.

He later posted the proposal video but just the hands of the lady and the ring. I was at work when I saw the video, I lost my balance and all concentration. I then remembered he saved her contact on his phone with ‘My Soul’ with a lot of love and ring emojis. Still, I kept my cool. 

Omoo! Then what happened next? 

On Valentine’s Day last year, she gifted him, and he flaunted it on his WhatsApp status. Then my elder sister called me and asked me, “what is going on between you and Femi?”. I told her I was going to have a conversation with him that morning. 

I sent him a voice note. Told him to come out straight to me and let me know what exactly was going on rather than having him mess with my head. He kept insisting they were just friends but I had already checked out of the relationship mentally. 

And then?

By March, everything between us was dead. Turns out, that was his wedding week.

Wait. He married her?!

Yep. You know what’s even crazier? He texted me on the morning of his civil wedding and he even bought his wedding shoes and tie from me – sales of clothes and shoes being my side hustle. The sheer disrespect! Later, he tried to play it down with fake apologies, saying the marriage was just for “papers” and that he wasn’t really in love with her. The lady was rich and had planned for them to relocate after the wedding. 

So, what’s up with him now?

Oh, that marriage crashed – within months. 

Omo!

It crashed mainly because it was built on lies. The lady got to discover him for all his lies. Even while they were married, Femi was still dating somebody else again. She is now in Canada.

READ ALSO: Unrequited love or simping?: “I was in the hospital for two weeks and Prisca never came once”

What about Femi? Did all this happen after they had japa? 

No o. Somehow, she figured before they completed all the process. She left him behind in Nigeria. lol. 

Karma?

If you say so. Lol. Apparently, he even blew about seven million naira meant for their relocation. 

Wild. Man must be so crazy. How did you survive all of that?

Very crazy. I told myself that this time around, I wasn’t going to dwell on it. Nah, and I wouldn’t permit Femi to bring out the worst part of me. Honestly, I kept reminding myself: if I survived yesterday, I’d survive today. And I’ll survive tomorrow. The pain reduces with each passing day, that’s what I figured. Plus, I had amazing people around me. I’m grateful for the gift of men as well. People were there for me, and whenever I share my story, people ask again if it’s my reality or a movie.

Seriously, it sounds like a chapter from a fictional story or even like Nollywood.

I know, right? But God saved me regardless and I am grateful. If I had gotten married to him, I would have been the most understanding spouse ever, yet stuck with a devil in human form. 

I’m sorry you had to go through all of these. It’s been a crazy love trajectory for you since 2019. But do you still believe in love?

Absolutely. My parents are proof that love exists. Who am I not to experience and give it?

Speaking of experiencing and giving love. Does that mean there is someone new?

Yes. We are having conversations and I am still getting to know him. He lost his wife two years ago and has a young child. He asked if I see a future with him, but I’m taking my time.  Although I think I already like him, I haven’t given him an answer because I am still praying about it. I want to be sure of what I am getting into. I don’t end up getting my heart broken again. 

Are you scared?

No. I’m just cautious.

Some might say dating a widower is settling. Do you feel that way?

Not at all. He ticks my boxes. He’s six years older, which I like. Plus, he’s a colleague. It feels…easy.

Looking back, what’s your biggest regret?

Giving Femi too many chances. Fear of starting over made me tolerate nonsense. Never again! He took advantage of me so much. If I had stood my ground at some point, it wouldn’t have gotten that bad. Moving on, if I see what I don’t like, I speak up immediately. 

Finally, if you could give one lesson from your experiences, what would it be?

Love with your heart, but bring your brain too. And no matter what happens, don’t let heartbreak change who you are. Don’t give anyone the opportunity to turn you into a sad person. Life’s too short. Heartbreaks may come, if they do, dance through the pain. But also, live fully. Go out with your siblings or friends. Have fun. Listen to music, and read books. Watch movies. Just pick yourself up, move on with life, and trust that things will fall into place. Sooner or later, they always do.

*Pseudonym

KloutBox #LoveBox Series

This story is part of the KloutBox #LoveBox series, celebrating Valentine’s Day by sharing real stories about love, heartbreak, and everything in between. Subscribe to our newsletter here so you can be the first to know when we release the next issue in the series.