What happens when love meets money – and it becomes too much? In today’s #LoveBox, *Lilian tells Purple about walking away from a man who gave her everything… except the independence she craved.
For how long did the relationship last?
It lasted five years. We met when I was in my third year at the university.
Describe how you felt during that period.
At first, it was amazing. We loved each other deeply. Jide* would do anything for me – literally. He’s wealthy, like swimming-in-money wealthy. But as time passed, I started losing parts of myself. I appreciated everything he did, but I couldn’t shake off the feeling that my life had begun to revolve completely around him.
Your entire life revolved around him?
Let me explain – I’m from a middle-class background. Not poor, lol. But I’ve always believed in working for my money. It gives me a certain confidence. Initially, Jide didn’t mind. But eventually, he began to complain. He didn’t want me to “stress” myself, so he started funding my entire life. Every single thing I needed. How do you explain to someone that working isn’t necessarily stress?
ICYMI Issue 10: She Didn’t Leave. Life Took Her – A Love Story Cut Short
Did you try letting him know how you felt?
Oh, I did. But with Jide, what he wants to do, he will do. I didn’t have any other issues with him, just the financial dominance. He didn’t even see it as a big deal.
Why was it a big deal for you?
At first, it wasn’t. I thought it was cute – here was a supportive man! But over time, I started asking myself: Can I really live like this forever?
And what exactly was he proposing?
Omo. Jide wanted me to be a housewife o. That was the direction everything was heading. And I knew – it just wasn’t possible.
When did you decide to walk away?
We had a big fight after I applied to a company his friend owns. I didn’t even know it was his friend. I still don’t know how he found out. The argument dragged on for two months. Around that time, my rent expired. This man sent me the exact amount with the message, “come back to daddy.” That moment opened my eyes – I was financially dependent, and it didn’t sit right with me.
ICYMI Issue 9: We Broke Up To Focus On Growth. Now, I’m Unsure.
What was the breakup like?
It felt like throwing away an open cheque, lol. It hurt like hell. Some of my friends thought I was mad for leaving a man with money, but I knew I had to. I wanted something of my own. He once opened a mini-mart for me just because I said I wanted to work – but it wasn’t about the money. It was about meaning.
How did you regain your financial balance?
Honestly, not as hard as I thought. He continued sending money – with ridiculous descriptions, lol. He’s always believed money fixes everything. I didn’t reject it o – I saved and invested. I also had personal savings from the relationship. So, I just cut down my expenses and eventually applied to another company. I got the job! Plus, I still have the mini-mart.
Looking back now, do you regret leaving?
Not at all. I’ve found personal fulfillment. I didn’t need to be overly ambitious – I just wanted to provide for myself and still enjoy my man’s money. But not like a parasite. Plus, you know how rich in-laws can be… the slightest thing and they’ll say you’re eating their son’s money. I can’t deal abeg.
Do you see yourself in a relationship again?
Maybe – either with him or someone else. With someone else? Not yet. I still love Jide. We’re still friends. And honestly, I think the breakup helped him too. He’s now trying to understand me more – sends me course links, job openings, includes me in business decisions. We still have feelings for each other, but we’ve agreed to take a break for now.
ICYMI #LoveBox Issue 1: I Wanted Him But The Streets Didn’t Want to Let Him Go
This doesn’t even sound like a breakup anymore. You’re still into each other.
LMAO. I wouldn’t lie – we are.
*Pseudonyms
KloutBox #LoveBox Series
This story is part of the KloutBox #LoveBox series, celebrating Valentine’s Day by sharing real stories about love, heartbreak, and everything in between. Subscribe to our newsletter here so you can be the first to know when we release the next issue in the series.
