You’re scrolling through X one hot Sunday afternoon when you see the trend, “Jesus dey come! Ajegunle to Island runz!” You think it’s one of those clout-chasing threads, until your neighbour bursts in shouting, “Dem say na today! E go pass front of dem Mama Nkechi canteen for AJ City!”
It was one of those days in Naija when the streets of Ajegunle were layered into a carnival of colours and craziness. Mothers clutched their babies, wary of the uproar that was about to unfold. Drumbeats and a chorus of loud singing sent shivers through the air as flags from different corners of the world were waved high.
Everybody dey wait for the one some dey call the “Son of God”, wey others dey call guyman known for healing, raising the dead, and performing miracles that leave you wondering if you were dreaming.
The previous day, the trend table on X (formerly Twitter) had been awash with everything about him.
@NaijaChurchYarns na im first carry am: Jesus dey come tomorrow! No dull am. He’s passing through Ajegunle to the Island!
Then went @SahelJournalists: Una don hear? Source no wan reveal demcef, but Jesus, the people’s Presido, and miracle worker go pass AJ City tomorrow. Carry your sick come and even your dead if dem never bury dem!
A flurry of reactions followed. First, it was @Prettigal, not believing her luck. She goes, “never in my life did I think I’d see another person wey go get street credibility like Peter Obi. Omo! I never reason am say the best healer go everly waka pass my city. Opor!”
Trust Gen Z. As e dey hot, dem dey mobilise.
The day has come. It is the day the Lord has made. Within the restless crowd are the sick; many flown in from far and wide; people with crutches, wheelchairs, stretchers. Each one hoping for that miraculous cure. Amidst the chaos is a boy perched on his father’s shoulders, shouting in excitement and signalling like Pointus Pilate Sanwo-Olu, “Papa, see am, na Him and Him disciples be that”.
The noise is like a tidal wave; everyone clamouring to catch a glimpse of Jesus, the awaited miracle-worker promised in the scriptures. Slowly but surely, as if guided by fate, the crowd makes room, a corridor of humanity, for Jesus and his close-knit band of disciples. Their path is flanked by jubilant voices singing praise, echoing through the air like a local gospel choir.
Here he is: Jesus, the humble healer, swaggering in a crisp white three-piece suit and a white bow tie that popped against his dark skin and jet-black, curly hair. His disciples too, decked out in slick black suits and dark shades to fend off the blazing sun, marched right by his side, eyeing the teeming crowd as if to guard him from any unwanted interference.
And then, there is Zakky also. You should have heard of him before. Of course not in Kumuyi’s sermons or in Iren’s, but possibly on the news. And for bad reasons. Zakky is a notorious Agbero, famed for being the chairman and tax master of the NURTW. His reputation went before him. It was as big as his bank account, but his stature? Well, let’s just say he was a small man in a big world, or a big man in a small body.
When word came that Jesus was passing by, Zakky’s heart jumped. He had been longing for this chance, ready to pay any price, even one he’d gladly shelled out the very day before, just to see this miracle-worker in person.
Arriving at Ajegunle, Zakky’s hope is dashed when he sees the massive crowd. Determined not to miss out because of his short stature and small frame, he scanned the area until his eyes landed on a sturdy sycamore tree a few steps away. I go climb the top of that danfo, he muttered. Jesus gatz pass this way!
Perched high on the top of the danfo, Zakky becomes the subject of ridicule. “See am, short-man devil!”, one laughing voice rings out.
“With all the money e dey hustle from common man, e no fit use am do ladder to see Jesus properly?” So na there your corruption end? Another says as the jibes flow as more people smirked at Zakky’s desperation. Undeterred, he focused on his focus.
The crowd only grows, and soon, smartphones start flying out – Apple, Samsung, Oppo, iTel, Tecno, just name it; selfies galore, as people clamour to document the moment. Journalists flock around like vultures, hungry for the next miraculous for the evening’s big story. Then, right on cue, Jesus and his disciples stroll down the dusty road of AJ City.
Suddenly, amid the bumper-to-bumper, Jesus stops, looks up, and with an inviting smile calls out, “Zakky! Come down, I don see you! Na for your doormot I go chop night food this evening”
Zakky’s eyes lit up. Without thinking twice, he scrambles down from the top of the danfo and guides Jesus to his sprawling mansion on Banana Island. But not everyone is happy, their mood souring faster than a dropped pot of jollof. Social media erupts:
@SilasMoses of New Nigeria Twitter fuming, “Imagine! So-called Son of God wey dey mingle with agbero wey dey torment everybody. This kontri nor fit better again!”
@Ahuva added, “This guyman get levels o. Na top top government officials him like to follow”
@Chaviva of Old CT shot back, “See the sick wey still dey wait for healing, but bros J choose go chop with sinner? Chai! This thing no make sense at all!”
@Monitoringspirit lament, “See the Jesus wey we come far and wide come see. Wahala for who no get connection!”
Back at Zakky’s house on the island, the dining table was a feast: jollof rice, pepper soup, suya, and soft drinks, all served with the style of a high-life gathering, with chefs in crisp white uniforms waiting on call.
After the hearty meal, Zakky stood up in a moment of clarity and declared, “My Lord, I go give half of my wealth to the poor. And all the people wey I don overcharge for taxes, I go pay them back four times over!”
Jesus smiled warmly and proclaimed, “Salvation don land for this house today, because this man don open him heart and don show say him be true son of Abraham.”
NB: This story is a modern reimagination of the encounter between Jesus and Zacchaeus, as recorded in Luke 19:1–10. In the original story, Zacchaeus, a wealthy but despised tax collector, climbs a sycamore tree to catch a glimpse of Jesus passing through Jericho. Despite the crowd’s disdain, Jesus notices him, invites himself to Zak’s house, and the encounter leads to a dramatic transformation. In this version, set in the vibrant chaos of Ajegunle, Zakky the agbero climbs a danfo instead of a tree, social media plays the role of the crowd, and Jesus’ presence sparks a wave of reactions — from awe to outrage — ultimately reminding us that grace often finds the unlikeliest people in the unlikeliest places.
KloutBox #StreetsOfSalvation Series
This story is part of the KloutBox #StreetsOfSalvation series, a special Easter edition reimagining the Gospel and the life of Jesus in today’s Naija. Subscribe to our newsletter here so you can be the first to know when we release the next story in the series.
