Bruhh, are there no private things anymore? You see some wild things on the internet of late and you can’t help but wonder, how did we arrive here?
Growing up, some people have said it took a while before they got accustomed to the colours of their parents’ bedrooms because of how sacred that space was treated. Back in the day, children rarely spoke to outsiders about the running of the home. And when they did, they were rebuked. Now, that isn’t the norm.
How much is too much?
The contentification of our personal lives for social media validation or monetary value has led a lot of people into exposing parts of themselves that should never leave the four walls of their homes. Today, people make YouTube videos about their wedding night – whether their spouse was a virgin or not – and whatnot. How exactly is this the business of the public?
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Some might say, “Well, it’s their life, they can do as they please.” And to be fair, they’re right. We all have choices. But it could also be argued that choice without discretion is a disaster waiting to happen.
Should something always be said just because it can be said or when does oversharing become overbearing?
Oversharing happens when the need for likes, views, or relatability outweighs the need for dignity and boundaries. It’s when you forget that the internet never forgets. It’s when you post in the heat of the moment, without thinking about how it might haunt you five years down the line.
For example, there’s nothing wrong with sharing that you’re going through a tough time mentally. In fact, it can help others feel less alone. But turning your pain into a daily vlog, detailing every conversation with your partner, every fight with your sibling, or every financial struggle… could tip into oversharing. You start to offer strangers the keys to rooms they should never enter.
Why do people do it?
Part of the problem is that we live in a world where privacy has become suspicious. If you’re not constantly updating others about your life, people might assume you’re hiding something or being “secretive.” Social media algorithms also reward sensational, personal, or controversial content. The more intimate and unfiltered you seem, the more “authentic” you’re labelled and this authenticity has become currency.
But here’s the catch: not everything intimate is authentic, and not everything authentic should be public.
There should be a certain degree of decorum on social media. It’s not about living like a recluse; it’s about asking yourself a few simple questions before you post:
- Does this add value to the people watching?
- Would I be comfortable with my future employer, child, or in-law seeing this?
- Am I sharing because it’s important, or because I feel pressured to be relevant?
Decorated actor Denzel Washington once said, “If you don’t want anyone to know, don’t do it.” I’d add, “…and if you don’t want everyone to know, don’t post it.”
We must learn that the internet is like a public square. Yes, you can stand in the middle and shout your secrets, but don’t be surprised if they echo in places you never intended.
Instead of giving the world a 24/7 documentary of your life, try sharing in layers. Keep the sacred things sacred. Let the vulnerable things be processed privately before you decide if they’re worth sharing publicly. And most importantly, remember that you should own your story, not the algorithm, not your followers, not the temptation of going viral.
You can still inspire, educate, and entertain without turning your personal life into a soap opera. In the end, wisdom is knowing what to say, and maturity is knowing what to leave unsaid.
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