*Chukwudi, 30, has lived two very different lives. Previously, he was the ultimate ladies’ man — writing love letters that made him the talk of his school and effortlessly charming girls for himself, brothers and friends. Today, he finds himself on a different path. After turning his life around and embracing his faith, Chukwudi is on a new kind of search: not for flings or fleeting moments, but for true love. In this issue, he talks about his wild past, his decision to become celibate, and his hope of finding a woman who shares his values — even if she’s older, has a “crazy” body count, or just happens to be his exact spec.
Talk me through your past relationship experiences
They have been mostly short but fun, tbh. I started early. I wrote my first love letter in SSS2. It was a full four-page letter to *Aaliyah, and I made her promise not to show anyone. Unfortunately for me, or rather fortunately lmao, that didn’t go as planned because somehow, the letter got out, and before I knew it, I became the centre of attention. But here’s the thing, rather than being embarrassed, it actually made more babes interested in me.
So, was that then the first time you were in love?
You’d be right if you said so. I like to say that I always know from the first meeting if I would fall in love with someone. And yes, the first time I tested my hypothesis was in my penultimate year in secondary school, with the same girl from the love letter. She was Muslim, Arabian, and I fell hard.
It’s funny, but for some reason, I find myself preferring white and non-Nigerian ladies to my compatriots and I honestly mean no offence. If I deep it now, maybe that is because they don’t stress me out.
ICYMI #LoveBox Issue 4: He Bought His Wedding Shoes from Me – Only To Marry Someone Else
You mean white and non-Nigerian ladies?
Yes. They don’t stress me at all. With white ladies, they rarely pretend if they like you. They let you know. But you see Nigerian ladies, some of them make things tiring. Dating them feels like a full-time job — they always want you to spend lots of time chasing. If you are unfortunate enough to now meet one of those materialistic ones, you’d understand what I mean even better.
You sound like you have been with a few non-Nigerians?
Well, I wouldn’t be able to compare if I hadn’t. Would I? The next time I fell in love was with *Evie. She loved me to pieces. I was in my sophomore year in the University. Evie was German. It was short but we had an amazing friendship and relationship. Distance was never a barrier.
Wait! You bagged her while was in Germany?
No o. I was in Uni in Abeokuta and she was in school in Lagos. Although she was staying with a strict aunt who didn’t really allow her to spend time outside, we found a way to manage our relationship.
Okay. If white women are the prize as you say, why did your stints with them not work out?
lol. Don’t quote me wrong. I don’t mean white women are the prize. I only stated the obvious differences and my preferences. Others may think differently and that’s valid too.
Anyway, for Aaliyah, I would say I messed it up. She had told me to keep our relationship secret. Remember, she was a Muslim. Unfortunately, I couldn’t. One day, I slipped to one of her brothers who was very close to me at the time. The brother scolded her and she had to end it. However, we were still close until I left the school.
ICYMI #LoveBox Issue 3: One Tweet, One DM and a Love Story That Is Defying Distance.
For Evie, on the other hand, it was a case of someone else crumbling our cookies. Actually, long before she accepted to be in a relationship with me, I had told a teacher of mine some unsavoury things about her which, in hindsight, I’d have wanted to double check on.
Interestingly, I moved past that but you know what they say about spoken words. After she accepted to be with me and things were going fine, that teacher was not happy that we were getting that much along considering the information I’d fed him previously.
Understandably, he did not quite trust me and he told her. She felt betrayed and found it hard to believe I said those things about her previously. In my defence, I regretted saying those things even if I thought the teacher grossly exaggerated things. But what can you do when you are caught out cold? Years have passed now and I can’t even remember what I said anymore.
I see but can we both then agree that not all Nigerian ladies play hard-to-get or are materialistic?
Sure. I said what I said. Some. And to be fair, I have had a few rodeos with my compatriots too. If I remember well, I had this fling during my 3rd year in the university with one *Chioma who really didn’t stress.
I’m glad God winks at the time of ignorance cos… what a time that was!
Tell me about it.
We started talking, and before I knew it, things got intimate. It was fun while it lasted because she genuinely liked me too.
When you say ‘intimate’, what do you mean?
Look, let’s just leave it at that. I am not so proud of those things anymore. Especially because she was only 18 and in her first year in Uni at the time.
Fairs. But apart from that, did you do other crazy things before you got born again?
Well, a few, but one comes to mind. Still a recollection of my University days. I was in class one time and this random lady was sitting just in front of me. I took up the seat next to her and we started talking. One thing led to another and things began to happen with our hands under the table. No one around us had a clue. Even my friends sitting around us didn’t suspect a thing.
Another time, I was escorting a lady to the bus stop around 1pm and when she was ready to hop on, I bent down to kiss her bum in the full glare of everyone and at the front of the bus.
ICYMI #LoveBox Issue 2: One Minute, It Was Love. The Next, He Was Hurling Insults at Me.
It suffices to say then that you have always been a ladies man?
Pretty much. The fine ones always come my way, and I say that with all modesty. At some point, I even became the wingman for my brothers, their friends and my own friends. They would bring their phones to me to help them chat up girls who were giving them a hard time. I never needed more than 48 hours to get the girl interested.
Master!
Oh, please.
Given your history, would you marry a lady whose body count is higher than yours?
Why not? Body counts don’t really matter much to me. While I may naturally struggle with my potential spouse having a very high body count, once I pray and God confirms she’s my wife, I’ll let go of any personal sentiments and marry her. The most important thing for me is God’s direction.
I believe in the “old things are passed away and all things are become new” scripture. As far she’s a new creature and God is in approval of the relationship, no qualms! But also, I don’t actively pray for this.
Interesting. What’s your body count? Let me guess: 119?
lol. Abeg o. I actually can’t put an exact number to it right now, but it’s not that much. One thing about me is I take care of women. Not in the money sense, but in the way I treat them. I see their bodies as gold, and I’ve learned that when a woman enjoys being with you, she’ll always come back.
Okafor’s law, innit?
You get it.
So why did your last relationship end if you treat women so well?
lol. Actually, our goals didn’t align anymore. She wanted something I wasn’t ready to give.
What would that be?
She wanted romance; her love language was mostly physical touch. She wanted all the touching and PDA but obviously without the sex bit. Since I got born again, I have been celibate and pursuing sexual purity.
In fact, I remember there was a time she hugged me and I refused to talk to her for three days because I felt like I had broken my commitment to God. When we later reconciled, she was being careful and that made her not be free around me any longer and it also affected the relationship in the long run.
In addition to that, she also had male besties, and I wasn’t comfortable with that. She denied anything was going on, but I didn’t believe that.
Worse still, the time we spent settling disagreements were way more than our fun time. It was exhausting.
So you’re single now?
Yes, and searching.
What has the experience been like?
It’s been meh. Last year, I asked three different ladies out, and none worked out. One told me she just got out of a five-year toxic relationship. It is what it is.
You’ve lost your touch?
I don’t believe so. I just can’t use the same methods I used to employ before I became serious with God. The terrains are a bit different too so yea.
ICYMI #LoveBox Issue 1: I Wanted Him But The Streets Didn’t Want to Let Him Go
Still on the subject of ‘searching’. What exactly are you looking for in a woman?
Ambition. In addition to that, I want someone who supports me. I want an optimist who believes anything is possible. Most importantly, someone who loves me deeply the way I would love her.
Can you marry someone older than you?
If she’s my spec, why not?
What’s your spec?
Slim, moderately busty. I like them slim so I can carry them when the time comes.
You talked about ‘God’s direction’ earlier, what if your spec is not ‘God’s direction’?
We all have personal preferences, don’t we? It’s just one of those preferences but I am ready by the grace of God to go with the will of God – whatever that is – and I believe God will direct me to my helpmeet.
What year are you looking at getting married?
Hopefully, by the end of this year, by God’s grace.
There’s only 10 months more in the year, bruh, and you’re still single now?
I have lady friends I’m talking to. Anything can happen. Right now, I’m being careful about my choices, relying on the Holy Spirit to guide me. If God says to wait, I’ll wait.
Looking back at your love life, what’s one piece of advice you’d give people?
If you’re a Christian, always obey God’s word when it comes to relationships. Let the Spirit of God guide you before getting involved with someone.
*Pseudonym
KloutBox #LoveBox Series
This story is part of the KloutBox #LoveBox series, celebrating Valentine’s Day by sharing real stories about love, heartbreak, and everything in between. Subscribe to our newsletter here so you can be the first to know when we release the next issue in the series.
