Fiyin* thought he had found a kinship kind of bond at the university with someone he called a brother. In this interview, he shares with JD the story of how they met, how close they became, and how it all broke apart after betrayal – just not quite like Efemini and Oboz.
How did you meet this ‘friend’?
I met him during my first year at the university.
We stayed on the same floor, his room was two rooms away from mine. I was studying a course in Education and he was studying for a degree in Agriculture. But we occasionally saw each other when we cooked in the kitchenette as we had been instructed not to cook in our rooms.
It started with small talks. Borrowing of stuff like salt, seasoning cubes, stove and the likes. He was the very jovial type that could get along with anyone. Over time, we started hanging out more.
So the bond grew quickly?
Yeah and naturally too. By second year, we had become closer. I would say more like brothers. We decided to move in together as roommates. Actually, I accommodated him, he was squatting with me. We cooked together, went reading TDB (till day break), and to events on campus together too.
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Interesting.
However, COVID-19 changed everything. We were sent home like everyone else. When school reopened after the lockdown, the school hostels were still closed, so students had to find accommodation off-campus. That’s when we got our first apartment together off-campus. A self-contained apartment.
We split the rent, cooked with whatever we could afford, hustled for gigs outside of school work together. But nothing prepared me for what was coming.
What happened?
I had a girlfriend then. I met her 100 level, second semester when we were still in the school hostel. We were still dating after we moved off-campus. She would visit, cook sometimes, hang out with us. She treated my guy like a friend, and he treated her like one too. At least, that’s what I thought.
Was it any different from that?
Actually, nothing so obvious. It started more like a rumour from mutual friends. One of them pulled me aside one day and said, “Guy, watch your babe and so so so. Them dey too close.” I brushed it off.
I feel on campus, people always gossip and are always looking for the next gist, so I didn’t pay much attention to it. Then another person said something similar a few weeks later. That’s when I started to feel uneasy.
Did you discuss it with your roommate?
I did. One evening I told him straight up: “Look, I’m hearing things. If there’s something I need to know, talk to me now. I’ll let it go if you’re honest.” He swore it was all lies. I wanted to believe him. Man literally gaslit me.
But the doubt lingered?
It did. One night, he had fallen asleep, and his phone was beside him. I can’t explain it. Something just told me to check. Fortunately, he had told me his password absentmindedly before when I asked to use his phone for something.
I opened his WhatsApp, and the first chat I saw was with her. Omo, I just weak. She even sent him nudes. I literally froze. I felt sick immediately.
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What went through your mind?
Nothing in particular, to be honest. I just put the phone back quietly and lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I kept asking myself, “So both of them have been playing me?” I felt like a fool. I didn’t sleep that night. I just lay there, listening to him snore. The snore just dey vex me.
For about two weeks, I couldn’t stay in that apartment. I would leave in the morning, hang around campus all day, then go sleep at another friend’s place. I gave him random excuses for me being away. I didn’t give him room for suspicion and I also didn’t tell anyone what I was going through at that moment.
When you finally confronted him, how did it go?
I didn’t even raise my voice. I just told him straight: “I saw the chats. I know everything.” At first, he tried to act confused. He even said, “Which chats?” But when he saw I wasn’t backing down, his shoulders dropped.
He admitted it. He started apologising, saying he didn’t know how it happened, that it wasn’t intentional. I just shook my head.
I called my girlfriend immediately and ended things. She tried to explain. I hung up.
And you still had to share a roof with him after that?
Yes. We had one more left on our rent. Unfortunately, there weren’t any friends I could stay with that long because they also had their roommates. And I would have been inconveniencing them greatly if I went and had to stay a few weeks.
I wouldn’t lie, that one month felt like torture. We barely spoke. If he was in the room, I would plug my earpiece and face the wall. We stopped cooking together. We stopped moving around together. The silence between us was very loud.
Did you ever forgive him?
Forgive, yes. Forget, no. I can’t hold on to bitterness forever, so I’ve let it go in my heart. But things can never be the same. A bond like that, once it’s broken, it doesn’t return. He taught me a lesson, a painful one.
If you had the chance to talk to him now, what would you say?
I would tell him I hope he’s fine. That’s all. Nothing more. I don’t hate him, but I don’t miss him either.
And what about her?
She’s history. I don’t carry bitterness towards her, but she showed me who she was. That’s enough closure for me.
Looking back, what stands out most from that experience?
The betrayal itself. It cuts deeper when it’s from someone that is so close. I think that’s what scarred me the most. If it had been some random guy, I would have shrugged it off. But from him? It felt like my own blood stabbed me.
But I have moved forward. I have new friends now, real ones. And I’m more careful with who I let close.
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*Pseudonym.
