When people talk about relocation, they often skip the messy parts — for some; the debt, the heartbreak, the identity crisis. For *Tega, moving abroad wasn’t the picture-perfect escape social media sells. Before booking that one-way ticket, life had already knocked him down hard: losing his savings, drowning in debt, and questioning everything. But against all odds, he took the leap — and what he found on the other side wasn’t what he expected. He shares his journey with Zahra.
Can you tell me about your background?
I’ve always worked in Media. I like to say I grew through the ranks. Started my career in the industry as a content writer over 10 years ago before stints as a Digital Content Manager, Book Editor, Managing Editor, Public Relations and Communications Consultant among others.
That’s quite an impressive repertoire! You sound like you already have things all figured out, so why did you leave Nigeria, when did you start thinking of it and what led to that decision?
So it’s a little interesting. Because since 2015, I’ve helped countless people with written documents they used in their relocation process. While many of them have asked me why I hadn’t considered leaving Nigeria, I always told them that I didn’t think the time was right as I didn’t have the gut feeling yet.
I always said I’d know when the time was right as I’d feel it in my spirit and soul. Let’s just say it took about 6 years for me to feel that way. I had the gut feeling that it was time. It wasn’t as though I had any money kept somewhere to prosecute the process. The reality was that I’d just lost what I considered my life’s savings to the tune of tens of millions and was also steep in debt.
So you left because you were struggling financially?
Some may argue that [my economic situation] was enough reason to consider an exit but frankly, I don’t think it was my motivation because I needed to still clear my debt and raise money to rebuild and relocate anyway and that wasn’t child’s play.
It was just that gut feeling. And when I also did my situation analysis of Nigeria’s political and economic climate, I felt that made my decision easier. So, I began to consider my options in 2021. I didn’t move until 2 years later but I actively started planning then.
Let’s talk about the journey itself. What was the most difficult part of the relocation process for you?
For me, the most challenging bit of the relocation process was the money it consumed and also the uncertainties ahead. At the time, the economy of Nigeria was fairly stable, yet putting together the cost of about 20m+ to prosecute the travel was also not straightforward—especially if you considered my unique circumstances.
I’d also just signed a consulting contract with a government agency and had some engagements with other private sector clients which made sure my monthly income was fairly reasonable, good enough to rank among the highest earners in my industry at the time. Leaving would mean forfeiting all that stability for a world of unknown where I’d have to build credibility and local terrain experience from scratch. I always love a challenge and have so much belief in myself, so I thought to give myself a chance anyway.
Frankly, that’s bold. Allow me live through your lens, tell me about your first day in your new country. How did you feel?
I remember it vividly. lol. It was in the middle of winter that January. I put on what I considered a thick winter jacket just as we were about to deboard. I remember my teeth clattering as we marched down to border control. It was freezing. Lmao.
It was also a mix of emotions. I’d left family—nuclear and extended—behind. I was newly married also and the plan was for my wife to join me as soon as I settled, in a matter of weeks. I was nervous also. I’d heard stories about how some border control officers could be nasty.
What if I was denied entry? Of course, I didn’t do anything wrong for that to have happened to me but the thought still wouldn’t leave my mind. I considered how much I’d expended on this journey and how anything other than admittance could hurt me badly.
Eventually, I scaled through border control easily. lol. It ended up being me just being an overthinker. I recall bursting into laughter right after. The kind that you have when you see the eventual success of all your planning.
I feel you, sounds like quite the emotional rollercoaster. Now that you had officially arrived, was settling in easier or harder than you expected?
If I’m being honest, my first few months in my new country were harder than I expected. I always plan for the worst. However, even in my worst-case scenario, I didn’t envision what I’d later experience in my first months here.
First, I couldn’t get a job until after about six weeks of arrival. I was surviving on the money I was earning as a consultant to the government agency – who were kind enough to let me deliver remotely – and the private sector engagements my team was working on. But at the exchange rate of NGN500 to my local currency, it wasn’t quite measuring up but I survived nonetheless.
I had thought of the possibility of not getting a job early enough but what I hadn’t thought of and planned for the possibility of getting roped into a police problem on my first day at work by a kid who thought it was cute to accuse me wrongly of inappropriate contact. The next few weeks were traumatic.
From the police requesting statements to my company suspending me indefinitely and without pay pending the conclusion of the investigations. I wanted to run cray lol, but what do they say about light showing up just about the time when the child of a good man is about to fall into a ditch? Yeah, that was what happened.
My innocence was eventually established and the case was dismissed with no adverse record. But the PTSD I had right after ehn. These are the things you don’t prepare for regardless of how finicky you can be – passive aggressiveness and microaggressions.
I can only imagine. And what about cultural differences? What was your biggest shocker?
Food, if it passes. I’d say my biggest culture shock would be that the bulk of the common food in this country is made of flour. Like bruh, how do y’all do it? You don’t get tired of eating these different variations of bread? lol
Haha! Some might say bread is life, but that is not up for debate today. Apart from the food, did you encounter any discrimination or racism in your new environment?
Oh, definitely. I spoke about microaggressions earlier, let’s be real—some of them are fueled by racism. I have reservations about the experience with the kid and the police but they’re only conjectures as I can’t prove it.
I’ve had my fair share. Not just the systemic ones where you feel like you have to work twice as hard for the same opportunities, but also the outright verbal ones. One time, someone casually threw the m-word at me in conversation. When I called them out, they just deflected and said they were talking to someone else. I insisted they repeat it while looking me in the eye, but of course, they couldn’t.
There was also another incident where someone openly dismissed me, saying, “I don’t have time to listen to that Black Nigerian guy.” He even mocked my accent. Instead of backing down, I asked him if he spoke French. He said no. Then I told him, “Well, I do speak French and you speak English so how do we take this session?”
He was dumbfounded. He probably felt shame… or maybe not? But I gave him a few seconds to internalise his feelings before proceeding. I ensured to put it to him. It’s a him-problem and I wouldn’t gloss over racism. It’s my policy to hit back.
It’s giving no gree for anybody. That said, what do you consider the biggest misconception people have about life abroad?
Hmmm, I’d think the misconception probably doesn’t hold much anymore as people abroad are beginning to create more content to dispel these narratives. The biggest misconception is thinking that abroad is some sort of utopia… an El Dorado.
People assume everything works perfectly—healthcare, economy, security. And yes, it’s an upgrade from Nigeria in many ways, but there are still real struggles.
For instance, a friend of mine recently spent over six hours in an emergency room just to see a doctor. That’s not an isolated case. And don’t even get me started on the cost of rent here—most people spend about 40-50% of their income just on housing. And while Nigeria has its security challenges, here you have random knife crimes and shootings. It’s better, yes, but it’s not paradise.
Looking back, what’s the one thing you wish you had known before moving?
I wish I had cross-continental work experience before moving. Having local experience in your country of residence is so valuable, especially in my industry. People underestimate how much it matters.
Let’s talk about quality of life. How would you compare it to Nigeria?
Without a doubt, the quality of life is better here. Cleaner air, structured transportation, a credit-based economy, and better healthcare (when you eventually access it).
The healthcare is top standard even if you’re treated mostly by foreign doctors (including those from Nigeria lol). The opportunities abound, but there’s a catch — you need to be skilled and lucky because there’s DEI and all that yadayada but there’s also systemic racism. That’s why I always tell people to skill up so well that no one can rig them out in any way.
It’s been a few years since you moved, do you feel a sense of belonging yet, or is there still a part of you that feels like an outsider?
It’s a mix of both, honestly. I still long for home and plan to return someday when I have everything together. But at the same time, I don’t feel like a fish out of water here. I feel like I have found my place in the system and I’m working my way up.
My kids were born here, I’ve studied here, changed houses a couple of times, I even support two local football teams (one in my erstwhile city and one in the capital), and I see their games from time to time. So I feel very integrated, comfortable and part of the culture too, but Nigeria is still home.
I see. Any regrets about relocating?
Straightforward no. lol. Do I miss home? Of course, I miss my family and we catch up every so often. But regret? No. If anything, the government back home doesn’t even make it difficult to answer the question. Things seem to have regressed even more, so what’s there to regret?
You have to respect the conviction. But has your relocation not affected your relationships with loved ones?
It has changed how we connect, if I am being honest. Conversations are now limited to phone and video calls. I’ve missed important family and friends gatherings, but I try to make up for it. I join virtual events when possible and offer financial support where I can. Nothing replaces physical presence, though. That part still stings.
Do you ever feel homesick? If you do, how do you deal with it?
Like I said previously, yes, I miss home and I feel homesick from time to time. I plan to visit soon, but for now, I just call and spend time with my loved ones. Some family members have even visited me here, which helps a lot.
Have you been able to make friends in your new country?
Yes, I’ve made friends at work and during my studies. A lot of people in my friend group relocated around the same time, so we all stayed close. Plus, my immediate family is here — my wife, kids, and even my mother-in-law, with my mom visiting soon. So I’m surrounded by love.
That is so beautiful. So you don’t miss anything Nigeria at all?
Tbh, the only thing I miss is my entire family. I miss being able to just decide on a random weekend to visit my parents, in-laws, or siblings.
I get that and I rate it. Speaking of family, do you feel any pressure to send money back home?
I have a very loving and supportive family who don’t put me under such pressure. They are super understanding, and I appreciate that. Of course, I still do what I can to help.
I love this for you. Would you recommend relocating to others?
I don’t have a specific answer to this. I’m indifferent. I’d say: consider your specific situation and decide what’s best for you. Examine the pros and cons. Are you able to live with some of the drawbacks of living as a resident in another country… or do the advantages outweigh the potential demerits for you?
Ultimately it’s only a call a person can make for themselves after doing their maths and considering their long-term plans.
What’s one key piece of advice you’d give to someone planning to relocate?
I’d go one better and give two instead. Pray and Plan!
Which countries do you think are best for Nigerians to migrate to and why?
Again, depends on what you’re looking to get out of your relocation and the options available to you. With the shift in global geopolitics, it is best for aspiring migrants to stay on top of the news.
But if you’re seeking where you could get relatively easy visa decisions, you may want to consider the UK. If you’re seeking quick routes to Permanent Residency, maybe Canada is your best bet. The US used to be the No. 1 for scholarships and funded programmes, and it probably still is but the issues with visa and post-study residency are also worth looking into.
Other countries like Australia, Germany, China, Ireland and Poland have also courted interests recently. Global Talent and Normadic visas are also on the rise. It’s worth looking through all the options critically and seeking advice from people who have used those pathways.
If you could do life all over again, would you still relocate?
Absolutely. In fact, I’d have done it even earlier. I’d have begged my guts to push me earlier than it did.
Any final words for aspiring migrants?
Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best. No two persons’ journeys are ever the same. You can make it where others fail and you can also strive where others had it easy. But the thing is every month is always better than the last, especially if you surround yourself with a good community of people.
*Pseudonym
Tega’s story is a reminder that moving abroad doesn’t magically fix everything, but sometimes, it’s the lifeline you didn’t know you needed. If you’re into stories that go beyond the highlight reel and dive into the grit of life abroad, subscribe to our newsletter here. We bring you more unfiltered stories, straight to your inbox — no fluff, just the real stuff.
