You’ll probably agree that, in life, there are times when you make random, uncalculated, moves and wonder what on earth the mess you’re making will become. Only to take two steps back and realise that, all along, there was a plan by the Divine that even you who is moving the chesspieces couldn’t see. The truth is you were probably just too close to the canvas. Today’s Hijabelle, Bilkis, has one or two things to say about this, and you know what, this might just be the story you have been waiting for to get your love and prayer life in order too…
In Asa’s words, let’s go back to the beginning. Last Ramadan—what was your mindset, and what inspired your prayer for marriage?
To be honest, I was in my feelings. Ramadan has always been a period when I reset, reflect, and try to get closer to Allah. But last year, amidst all the fasting and tahajjud, one thing kept pressing on my heart: I wanted to be married. And not just in a “God when” kind of way, but in the “I’m ready for my person” kind.
I won’t even lie; it wasn’t an overnight thing. The whole thing had been creeping up on me for a while. You know that feeling when you’re doing okay on your own; life is moving, work is going well, family dey alright, but there’s just that one missing piece? That was my position: I was craving a companion, someone to do life with as I was already 32, so it was about time. I have friends who found spouses that truly complemented them and I saw how their partners became their safe spaces. No pretence. And I thought to myself, Omo, me sef I deserve this.
That night, I poured my heart out to Allah. I didn’t just pray once and leave it. Every sujood, every whispered dua, even before I broke my fast, every tahajjud session, I prayed. I didn’t know when or how it would happen, but I trusted that Allah had planted that desire in me for a reason, and I surrendered it to Him.
Does that mean you were not in any relationship or actively looking for a spouse before that Ramadan?
Honestly, I was not. Neither was I on any matchmaking site, sliding into DMs, nor giving every Uncle “Asalam aleikum, sis” a chance just because they ‘showed interest’. I had gotten to a point where I realised that no amount of “positioning” could bring me the kind of spouse I was praying for—only Allah could.
You know that phase where people keep asking, “So when is it your turn?” and you just smile like it’s not paining you? That was me. I kept reminding myself: if Allah hasn’t given me this thing yet, there’s a reason. I deepened my relationship with Allah, worked on my patience, and reflected on the kind of partner I wanted to be. Because it’s one thing to pray for a good spouse, but are you also a good spouse in the making?
Intentional woman. So when did you start feeling that your dua has been answered?
Ah, the signs! You see, at first, I didn’t even realise they were signs. I just thought, okay, life is moving, we thank God. But looking back now… You know how sometimes you make dua, but deep down, you don’t believe it’s going to happen anytime soon? Again, that was me. I prayed for marriage, but a part of me was like, E go still take time.
But then, a few months after Ramadan, something changed. It was like Allah was preparing me internally before anything even happened externally. Out of nowhere, aunties were dropping unsolicited advice and even my mum, who never used to pressure me, started saying things like, “Ehn, you know you’re not a baby anymore o.”
Shortly after, the strangest thing happened: several proposals. Not one, not two, three men proposed to me. And not those unserious ones o. Good, practising brothers, however, none of them felt right. I was confused. Like, I prayed for this, so why does it feel off? But as they say, not every opportunity is your answer.
When I finally met my man, everything just clicked. The ease and compatibility were so different. There was no “let me go and pray about it for 40 days” confusion, just vibes.
That is so beautiful, give us the full lowdown. How did you meet?
We met at a wedding o. The funny thing is, I wasn’t even in the mood to go. You know how Nigerian weddings can be crowded and loud. But my friend dragged me, insisting I needed to “socialise.” I got there late, and because I was already tired, I found a quiet spot at the back to sit and eat my small chops peacefully.
That was when I noticed him fighting some meat and muttering under his breath. It was so funny, I just started laughing. Na so talk start, first, it was about the food, then about how neither of us knew the couple getting married (we had both been dragged by friends). The rest, they say, is history. We are three months into forever now, In Shaa Allah.
Awww. Now that you have found your own person, does this Ramadan feel different?
Ah, this Ramadan? Omo, it’s sweeting me, my guy! It’s not even about the big things, we now have “our” Ramadan traditions. Like how we take turns picking the lecture to listen to before Iftar, how we pretend we won’t eat too much but end up doing exactly that. lol. This Ramadan is different. It’s fuller; softer. It is exactly what I prayed for.
So sweet! I’d imagine you want to say a thing or two to people making similar duas this Ramadan?
First of all, make your dua with your chest. No holding back, no forming vibes. If you want marriage, say it with your full chest and ask Allah like you already know He will answer. Tell Him exactly what you want. A partner who fears Him; who will bring peace into your life. One who will love and respect you; who will make your Ibadah better.
If you want someone kind, are you kind? You want someone prayerful, are you working on your own salah? Because marriage is two people coming together, not one person saving the other. Be open to His wisdom. If a situation doesn’t work out, don’t see it as rejection, see it as redirection. Allah’s timing is perfect, just do your part.
KloutBox #WhispersOfRamadan Series
This story is part of the KloutBox #WhispersOfRamadan series, where we share real stories of faith, reflection, and answered prayers during the holy month. Subscribe to our newsletter here to be the first to read the next story in the series.
