He sent ‘apology funds’ after beating me but it just wasn’t enough…

“Love is blind until it makes you blind. That’s when you get to see all the ‘bloody’ red flags that seemed like carnival flags to you.”

Eunice, 24, believes there is no blind love. According to her, lovebirds see but choose to ignore. To understand her better, we sat to have an interview with her. 

The following interesting conversation ensued:

Hiiii Eunice. Just before we get into the meat of the matter, you mentioned something that sparked my interest earlier. You said love is blind until it makes you blind. Why do you think so?

I don’t “think,” I “believe”. I was supposedly blind in love until I almost lost an eye. Nah that time my eye clear o, I see sharp sharp. 😅😅 

You almost lost an eye? How did that even happen?

I was seeing this guy a few years ago and he had anger issues, serious anger issues. I met him in the gym when I was still serious with fitfam and we started dating months after. Anytime we had a fight, he’d always warn me not to push him to the wall because he’s capable of doing anything. Omo I decided to try him one day na him he wan comot my eye.

Was there ever a time when you thought he could hurt you? Did you notice any red flags?

There were hundreds of red flags, especially with the way he related with people around him. It’s like everyone worshiped him because they were scared of him. I’ve seen him slap one of his friends before; he apologized because I told him to, and I started feeling like I could change him.

There were flags, but he was also very loving, a lover boy to a fault, and he provided necessary support both morally and financially.

When did you realize that you couldn’t change him?

The day I realized I wasn’t a therapist and that he could be the death of me was the day he slapped and pushed me. My face hit the centre table in my living room and I fell unconscious. I am not used to violence. My father is not a violent man. I fainted straight. When I woke up in the hospital, my left eye was wrapped in bandages. Omo I was blind yet I could see clearly.

What was his reaction to hitting you?

He was the one who carried me to the hospital. He felt very bad and he was at my bedside when I woke up. He kept apologizing and he was crying terribly. He even wore a necklace for me when I was unconscious, and I realized later that he sent me money with the description ‘I am sorry.’ That day, I was just laughing. One of my friends was in an abusive relationship, and I knew he was planning to build a cycle.

How easy was it for you to resist his plea?

It wasn’t easy. I am a very ‘soft girl’ so it wasn’t easy. I secretly called my big sister to come pick me up. I knew I wouldn’t be able to think well if I was in the same place with him. My sister helped me a lot. She didn’t judge me or anything. I had been in a relationship with Emmanuel for almost a year, and it was quite difficult.

Wow. What was the effect of this on you and how did you handle it?

For a long time, I became very wary of men. I felt as though all the men around me wanted to beat me scatter. My sister advised me to go for therapy, and I was reluctant at first, but it helped a lot. No trauma is small trauma. I’m not doing love soon, though, I’m taking a break from love. It’s been 3 years and a few months since I almost lost my eye. I see well now though, but I’m using glasses. 😂

Were your parents aware of what happened?

My parents knew I was seeing him. My dad didn’t really like him, so when I stopped seeing him, he was relieved. It was until recently that I told them what happened. My father wanted to arrest him o, but I just told them to leave it.

Do you still communicate with him?

Lol. God forbids that I still talk to that man, I don’t hold anything against him, but it’s better we stay away. He has contacted me a few times since then and tried to start something, but Omo kole werk.

What would you like to say to anyone in a similar situation?

When you hear “love is blind,” what comes to your mind?