When you hear ‘sexually liberated,’ what picture pops into your head? For many, it’s about being free; free to explore, express themselves, and make their own choices without shame.
Back in the day, especially from the 1960s to 1980s in the West, there was a certain kind of sexual revolution. Practices like premarital sex, queer relationships, and even just talking about sex openly became normal. Conversations once had in hushed tones started becoming commonplace in public squares.
But let’s not forget, not too long ago, society was way more uptight. Sex was treated as something sacred or as something sinful. Parents hardly talked about it. And for women especially, virginity was a big deal, something to guard with your life. If you didn’t, well, people would either whisper or outrightly shame you.
Honestly, moving towards sexual freedom was a good thing. People were tired of being told how to live, how to love, and what to do with their bodies. And that’s fair. Everyone should have the right to choose. But here’s where it gets a bit messy: what happens when the very people who fought for this freedom start looking down on those who choose a different path?
Read this: Why Does Society Shame Male Virgins & How to Kill The Stigma
The Other Side of the Coin
We talk a lot about sexual freedom these days. We celebrate confidence, openness, and owning your story. Yet, in the same breath, people who choose to be abstinent, celibate, or simply haven’t had sex yet get shamed or treated like something’s wrong with them. Na wa o!
If someone says they’re saving sex for marriage or haven’t had sex in a while, do you see a lot of applause? Not really. It’s usually awkward silence, a sarcastic comment, or a dismissive eye-roll. Why? Isn’t the whole point of liberation about choice?
You can’t shout about your own freedom while mocking someone else for choosing differently. That’s not freedom. Looks more like hypocrisy.
Virginity Isn’t a Superpower, But It’s Still a Choice
Let’s get this straight: being a virgin doesn’t make you a saint or a better person. It doesn’t define your worth, your kindness, or how mature you are. But that doesn’t mean we should make fun of people who value it.
Some folks choose abstinence because of their personal beliefs. Others are just waiting for the right person. Some simply don’t feel ready and guess what? guess what? That’s totally fine. The main thing is, they made a choice. And that choice deserves the same respect as anyone else’s.
It’s ironic, really. In a world that constantly preaches sexual freedom, being a virgin is becoming something to be ashamed of. People are scared to admit they haven’t had sex, not because they’re embarrassed by their choice, but because they’re afraid of being judged or not taken seriously. Some even lie about it just to fit in.
That fear is very, very real.
The Pressure to ‘Catch Up’
Research shows that people, especially young adults, often think everyone else is way more sexually active than they actually are. This idea that “everyone else has done it” puts a lot of pressure on them to join the crowd. As one therapist, Rachel Keller, puts it, people are often surprised to find out how many others are in the same boat as them. Many are, they just don’t talk about it.
So, we have a generation that talks about freedom but secretly pushes for everyone to be the same. That’s not moving forward, it’s just a new way of controlling people, only now it’s wearing a fancy new costume.
Real Liberation is About Respecting Everyone
True sexual freedom isn’t just about having sex. It’s also about having the choice to not have it. The right to say ‘yes’ also means you have the right to say ‘no’. Real liberation means making space for every single choice, even the ones you don’t personally understand or agree with.
We can’t keep celebrating one group while shutting up another. It just doesn’t work like that. If someone is proud of being sexually active, it makes sense. But if someone else is proud of being a virgin, that’s also fine. To each their own.
Freedom isn’t just for the loudest voices or the most popular opinions. It is for everyone.
The Bottom Line
We live in a world that’s more open about sex than ever before, and that’s a good thing. But being open should never mean leaving others out. Virginity isn’t a weakness or a joke. It’s a personal decision, just like every other sexual choice. And if we truly are as free and liberated as we claim to be, then it’s time we started acting like it, by respecting everyone’s right to choose their own way.
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