When people have this discourse about being born with privilege – nepo baby – or not – lapo baby, they often limit it to surface-level comparisons: “This one had rich parents,” or “That one suffered and hustled to get here.” But rarely do people go deeper into what really makes a person privileged and another not. Especially when it comes to one underrated factor: family planning.
We don’t talk enough about how the number of mouths in a home affects access to opportunity. We overlook how having children within or above the economic means of a household determines a child’s outcome in life. And if we’re being honest, sometimes, it’s not about being born into wealth, it’s about not being born into debt.
Let’s take two families. One has two children. The other has four. Both parents in each home earn roughly the same modest income. Now, it doesn’t take a genius or economist to guess which family is more likely to provide better nutrition, education, healthcare, and time per child. Yet, society tends to glamourise large families without ever questioning what it means for the children born into stretched homes.
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The family of four (two parents and two kids) might not be rich, but they might have just enough to give those two kids a fair chance. They can pay for school, maybe even a few extracurriculars. They can afford three meals a day most of the time. That child, though not a nepo baby, isn’t really a LAPO baby either. They’re what you might call a sufficiency baby. They don’t have excess, but they also aren’t waking up every morning to fetch water from a faraway well or skipping school because of unpaid fees.
Now let’s look at the second family. Two parents, four children. Same income. No increase in earnings. Just double the children. The money stretches thinner. School becomes a gamble. Healthcare is a luxury. Food is rationed. Even emotional attention becomes scarce. That child might start life already owing the world. Born into hustle by default. That’s the true definition of a Lapo baby.
And this is where the conversation gets uncomfortable. Because no one wants to tell parents – especially in cultures that glorify the phrase, “many children are a blessing” – that it is unfair to bring children into the world without the resources to raise them. But somebody has to say it: children are not collateral for poverty.
Nobody chooses where or how they’re born. But if we’re going to have honest conversations about inequality and privilege, then we need to talk about economic preparedness before parenting. Not everybody is a Nepo baby, but not every Lapo baby had to be born either. The difference is sometimes intentional family planning, or a little more honesty before conception.
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The funny thing is, some people who call themselves Lapo babies are really just children of poor planning. It’s not always government failure or village people. Sometimes, it’s mummy and daddy not having that conversation about spacing children. About using protection. About what it costs to feed, clothe, and educate another human being. Let’s call it what it is: parental irresponsibility masquerading as generational suffering.
Now don’t get it twisted. This is not to mock or blame children born into difficult homes or even unfortunate abuse circumstances. It’s not to say suffering is a badge of shame. In fact, many of the most resilient, creative, and brilliant people around were Lapo babies in every sense at some point, they are people who turned hardship into fuel and ran with it. But truth be told, resilience should not be a requirement for survival.
You shouldn’t have to become a superhuman to make it out of childhood. That’s not noble, it’s tragic. The bar for existence shouldn’t be that low. The fact that someone made it out of extreme poverty doesn’t mean poverty builds character. That person survived in spite of it, not because of it.
And that brings us back to the Nepo baby conversation. Yes, it’s easy to side-eye the child who got handed a job, a house, or a trust fund. It’s easy to drag them on social media and say, “They don’t know struggle.” But maybe the real question is: why should anyone have to know struggle to earn a decent life?
If we’re being honest, many Nepo babies are simply beneficiaries of what intentionality looks like. Their parents – or even grandparents – planned, saved, invested, and positioned them. It is true that some nepobabies are also offsprings of fantastically corrupt politicians, technocrats, bureaucrats or whatevercrats. Either way, they had a strategy.
We can critique the system that makes ethical privilege inaccessible to most, but we can also learn from the principle of planning for what we can cater to. We can also critique the plethora of loopholes that allow for public and private sector corruption, but ultimately, children can’t choose the families they are born into.
Because you see, we don’t need more Lapo babies. We need more intentional babies. Children born into thought-through environments. Whether rich or not, at least planned and considered. At least not dragged into this world only to inherit a battle their parents didn’t bother to prepare for.
If we are keeping it a buck, this is not just about money. Sometimes the lack is emotional, not just financial. Some people had food and school fees, but no peace of mind. Some had a house but no home. That’s another type of Lapo we don’t talk about enough.
In the end, this isn’t a competition of pain or privilege. It’s a call for awareness. That before you bring a child into this world, you ask yourself: What am I offering them? Because children deserve more than prayers and wishful hope that things will work out. They deserve structure, planning, and if possible, a soft landing.
So whether you were born a Nepo baby or a Lapo baby, the question we should all be asking is: How do we make sure our next generation doesn’t have to wear the latter label?
