There’s a thin line between talking-stage and being friends with benefits. Perhaps a grey area for hanging feelings till further notice. Amaka talks about her experience in what she calls an “almost love” situation.
What was the experience like?
Well, it was emotionally draining. This week, we’re all lovey dovey and the next, we’re like strangers.
Why was there so much strain? Was one of you unwilling?
I’ll blame it on our in-laws, association of matchmakers and haters too. Our circle of friends made things quite difficult for us, and for a while we found ourselves doing things to keep up with their expectations. We weren’t even dating o. It became stressful. It was like I was in love with the whole group, not just him.
Was it also uncomfortable for him?
It was and there were days we’d not talk to each other but relate on a really good level when hanging out with our friends. You know how friends can be, one little thing goes wrong and they go around spreading the skeletons in your cupboard. That happened once with him. I was just tired of having a lot of people in our business.
If there was one thing you have the opportunity to do right, what would it be?
Letting him feel loved because I love him, not making him feel like I’m acting out a script or doing him a favour.
Did he talk to you about it?
Yes, but that happened after we grew apart.
Did you guys finally let it all go or did the emotions die out?
We reached the burnout stage and were just too hurt to think about what our friends would say and all. At that point, we just grew apart gradually.
How did your friends react?
What we had lasted years, and the people that had been rooting for us were trying to get us back together. Choking us with memories on the group chat and unnecessary pranks. It all ended the day he sent a voice note to the group explaining why they should respect our emotions by letting us be.
Have you found closure?
Recently, we ran into each other at an event, and we chilled out later. We had this kind of deep discussion that made us see what went wrong from each other’s perspective, and I’m glad we had that conversation.
Do you guys plan to make things work now?
We didn’t have a “thing thing.” We weren’t friends with benefits or a couple. It was just a “feelings gone wrong situation,” so we just cleared the air and decided it was “almost love” we had for each other.
