Some love stories start with fireworks. Others start with friendship, fear, and a cracked joke about a faulty projector. In this heartfelt conversation with JD, Chuks* unpacks what it means to love deeply with empty pockets, hold on tightly to love, and let go when life demands it. What does love look like when it’s beautiful, real, and still not enough? Let’s find out.
Before we get into anything, what’s love like for you?
Hmm… love. I don’t think I’ve ever had a clean, easy, version of it. Growing up, I was one of those guys that girls liked as a friend, you know, “You’re such a good listener,” “You’re like a brother.” That kind of thing. I had a few crushes that didn’t like me back, and by 200 level, I had quietly accepted that maybe love no dey for everybody.
But I’m a lover-boy deep down, sha. I dey catch feelings quick. I just no dey always get the kind of love I give back.
When would you say that changed?
It changed when I met Margaret*. Or maybe, let me say it started to feel like something real again. We met during one of those boring faculty workshops in early 2023. She was the kind of girl that enters a room and even silence gets confused. I almost didn’t talk to her that day because I just felt… she was out of my league.
But you still did?
I did. I cracked a dry joke about the projector not working and she laughed like I was actually funny. From there, we got talking. I found out we both liked Asa and hated hostel toilets. That was enough for me to start dreaming.
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How did things go from there?
We became friends fast. We started sharing food, assignments, even stress. She’d call me around 11pm just to gist about her day, and I’d stay up even if I had a 7am class. The talking stage lasted long, but I didn’t mind.
What really got me was how she made me feel seen. Like, me, broke boy from Ibadan Polytechnic now trying to get a degree at Unilag. She listened to my struggles, my plans, even my unfunny jokes. She gave me space to be soft.
When did you guys officially start dating?
Around April 2023. It wasn’t some big declaration. One day, we were talking and she said, “You’re basically my boyfriend at this point.” And I just smiled and said, “Then let’s make it official.” But that’s when the fear started setting in too.
Fear? As how?
Yes. Because I was already struggling with school and side gigs. I sell thrift shirts sometimes, help final year students type projects, that kind of thing. I was hustling small small to buy data, feed well, and maybe once in a while, buy suya for us.
But she was beautiful, like, effortlessly fine. People noticed her. Guys with cars and money would say “hi” when we’re walking together. I used to joke about it, but deep down, I dey fear.
Did you ever talk to her about it?
I did, once. I told her I felt insecure sometimes. She just looked at me and said, “You’re enough. Stop thinking love has a price tag.” But omo, this is Nigeria. You know love no dey chop words.
There were times she’d want to go out, and I couldn’t even afford N1,500 to take her for shawarma. I’d cook noodles with egg and try to make it romantic. She never complained, but it ate me up inside.
Did you ever feel like you were going to lose her?
Every day. Especially when she started posting less of me and more “soft life” quotes. I won’t lie, I used to go through her followers and check who’s liking her pictures. I was scared one rich guy would just swipe her like ATM card.
But she stayed. Through my broke days, through the nights I didn’t have airtime to call. One day, I asked her why. She said, “Because this thing we have feels real, and you make me feel safe.” That sentence held me like food after fasting.
Are you guys still together?
Hmm. No. We ended things early 2024. It wasn’t about money. Life just started moving us in different directions. She got an internship in Abuja, I had to stay back. Long-distance and silence killed it.
But I don’t regret anything. Loving her felt like borrowing time from a better life. She showed me I could be wanted, even when I had little. And that kind of memory no dey fade.
Would you say you’re still healing?
Yes. Some nights, when I see her post something with a guy that looks like he wears designers, I feel it. But I’m also growing. I’m learning to give myself the same softness she once gave me. And who knows? Maybe love go still reach me again.
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*Pseudonym.
