If Nigeria’s roads could talk, they would probably sigh. But the traffic light would have the loudest story, always watching, always blinking, never moving.
People argue that Nigeria’s traffic problem isn’t about bad roads but bad habits. Everyone blames everyone else. Drivers blame officials, officials blame drivers, and somehow, the traffic light gets dragged into it too.
So JD decided to find out what the poor thing had to say for itself. On a humid afternoon somewhere in Lagos, he stood under one of the city’s oldest traffic lights, notebook in hand, and began what might be Nigeria’s most unlikely interview.
Good afternoon. I have been stuck under your red light for the past six minutes. Thought it was only right to come down and talk. Have you got a moment?
(flickers briefly) Moment ke? My brother, I have been here since 1998. I get all the time in the world.
Fair enough. Let’s start easy. What’s it like being a traffic light in Nigeria?
You want the truth or the version I tell FRSC when they come to inspect?
Truth please.
It’s stress. Pure stress. People here no dey respect colour. Red means stop, green means go, simple. But try telling that to a danfo driver. He will look you dead in the eye and drive through red like he’s colour-blind.
So, people don’t obey you?
Obey? Some of them think I’m there for decoration.
That sounds chaotic.
Na our normal. Go to Abuja, some of my cousins dey there, neat, fresh, always blinking like British traffic lights. But come to Lagos, Port Harcourt, or Benin, you will see our real suffering. Heat don melt some of us. Others don’t even have the yellow bulb anymore. People just guess when it’s about to change.
I have noticed sometimes you all work only on one side of the junction. Why is that?
That’s our own “half-day.” Sometimes rain will enter our circuit. Sometimes it’s contractor wahala. Government go award maintenance to one cousin that studied Theatre Arts.
Next thing, he brings a ladder, tightens two wires, collects allowance, and disappears. We are back to blinking red like disco light for the next three months.
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Nigerians joke that your red light lasts longer than most relationships. Is that true?
(laughs) I no go lie, that one pain me small but e get truth inside. Some of our timers are faulty. Red can stay for seven minutes while green lasts fifteen seconds. You will see people calculating: “If I just zoom across small before LASTMA reach…” Then boom. Everybody jams.
Speaking of LASTMA, how’s your relationship with them?
Complicated. When I’m down, they act like heroes. Once I’m back, they stand beside me like supervisors. Sometimes they even wave people through red.
Do drivers ever apologise when they disobey you?
Nigerians don’t apologise to metal. Me, I just dey collect insults. One time, a man wound down and shouted, “You no get sense? Person late for meeting and you still dey red!” I just blinked slowly. I wanted to say, “Na my work, oga.”
Can things can ever improve?
Improvement no hard if people go just follow simple rules. Abroad, traffic lights no even shout. Everyone waits. Here, even if I show green, the man behind still honk before the front car move. We act like time go expire if we wait small.
So it’s not just about infrastructure, it’s also attitude?
Exactly. Nigerians have an interesting mindset: rules are for other people. You will hear someone say, “Na just small red light,” like disobedience get size. Then same person go complain government no dey follow law.
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Any fond memories over the years?
Hmm. I remember December 2003. Harmattan breeze, everything calm. NEPA gave us steady light for one full week. I felt like I was in London. Drivers even stopped properly. But the joy short-lived. January came, and one trailer hit my pole. Since then, I have been leaning slightly to the left.
Interesting. If you could send one message to Nigerians, what would it be?
Simple: obey small rules. If you can wait for red to turn green, you can wait for your turn in life. Patience no dey kill person. Impatience dey cause accident, both for road and for destiny.
That’s deep. You sound philosophical.
When you have been standing in one spot for twenty-five years, you go think deep. I have seen governments come and go. Campaign posters pasted on my pole. Promises made under my light. Some even say they will fix roads. Me, I am still here, watching tyres splash water on pedestrians.
Any final thoughts?
Just tell Nigerians to calm down. The light will turn green. Life go balance small if we all just learn to wait.
Thanks for your time.
Time? That’s all I have. Now abeg, move small before that keke behind you starts to shout.
