You know, this whole “talking stage” thing, especially when you’re hoping for something serious, can feel like walking on eggshells.
It’s often not clear, and sometimes, it leaves us scratching our heads, wondering if we just wasted a lot of months. That sharp pain of being told, after putting in time and having deep chats, “I’ve always seen you as a friend,” really hits hard.
You just sit there thinking, “Ah, friend ke? After all this gisting and getting close? Is this how we just waste our time?” It makes you wonder why we don’t just talk about what we want early, clear up all the guesswork, and save ourselves the hurt and lost time.
It’s a tricky dance because sometimes, people truly don’t notice what’s happening, or maybe they’re just not ready for what you want. But then there are those who act like they don’t know, soaking up all the attention and feelings without any real plan to take things further.
It can feel really fake, like they’re just enjoying the ride while you’re there dreaming big. You wonder, how can someone be so unaware, or pretend to be, when another person is clearly putting in effort and feelings for more than just friendship?
It’s not about being pushy; it’s about being kind enough to see someone’s true interest and dealing with it, instead of leading them on or just leaving them hanging. We need to be more aware of the vibes we’re giving and getting, and be honest about what we want, even if it’s a bit uncomfortable.
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This talk also needs to cover another key point: figuring out if someone is just in a talking stage for fun or sex, and not for future plans.
Let’s be real, for some people, the talking stage is just a way to get to sex, nothing more.
They want the good times, the closeness, the connection, but without any serious promise. And honestly, there’s nothing wrong with that, if both people are on the same page from the start. If two grown-ups agree they just want something casual, with “no strings attached,” then fine, go ahead. No wahala.
The problem, though, pops up when what you both want is very different. When one person is dropping hints about marriage, family, and forever, and the other is just thinking about the next hookup, that’s where the faking starts.
It’s not fair to let someone put their feelings, time, and hope into a situation where you know what they expect is totally different from what you want. That kind of acting, that lack of clear talk upfront, is what makes the talking stage a bitter pill for so many.
And that brings us to the big thing no one talks about: rejection. When you finally find the guts to ask “where is this going?” and the answer isn’t what you hoped for, it’s not just the chance for love that dies. Often, the friendship dies with it too.
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It’s hard to go back to being “just friends” with someone you’ve shared so much with and imagined a future with. Things change, it gets awkward, and usually, one person just slowly pulls away. It hurts twice, losing a possible partner and a friend, all because things weren’t clear from the beginning. This makes the talking stage a really high-risk game, especially when you don’t have a lot of time to spare.
Truth is, we’re not getting any younger, and for many of us, time is something we can’t afford to throw away. Every minute spent in a talking stage that’s not clear is time that could be used building something real with someone who is clear and wants the same things.
That’s why there’s this growing wish for people to just make loving easy, instead of turning it into a battle or a puzzle. Be direct, be honest, and value each other’s time.
If you’re not interested in anything serious, say so. If you’re just looking for fun, say that clearly. You say you are serious? Then, show it with clear actions. It’s about treating each other with respect, really. Because at the end of the day, everyone deserves to be treated honestly and not have their time or feelings taken for granted. Don’t you think so?
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